


my most beautiful rose

by douniaguilera



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10001660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/douniaguilera/pseuds/douniaguilera
Summary: karren loves tsukiyama and wants to surprise him someday with her violin skills. turns out he wont be the one to be surprised actually.basically a remake of the keine sorge scene because ishida has no right to do thisjust ignore everything that happened during the tsukiyama arc and think of this as a canon thing





	

**Author's Note:**

> please be aware of!!!!!
> 
> i know karrens pronouns are seen differently depending the person, i refer to karren as she/her but if you're used to something else, feel free to read this by using the pronouns you prefer :D

Karren had always admired how effortlessly talented in basically everything her dear Shuu-sama was. He made everything look beautifully refined, just as if his only existence alone was enough to make flowers bloom wherever he went. Especially when he was playing the piano. She so often dreamt of the day she could proudly stand beside him, maybe accompanying him with her violin, or just simply going for a walk at his side. It was her dearest wish, but the gap between her love for Tsukiyama and the weight of her insecurities was so huge all she could do was watching him from afar, and trying to like him the best she could, giving her best not to be too much of a nuisance to him. Bothering her beloved Shuu-sama was the last thing Karren wanted. She was well aware her love was and would always be unrequired, but she was fine just taking care of Tsukiyama and doing whatever she could in order to keep him the happiest and healthiest she could. That is just how Karren is. Never asking for anything but the happiness of her rose prince, and never expecting anything from him either. She was happy just being in the Tsukiyama household, working alongside everybody, and being able to watch over her beloved Shuu-sama. Never once she complained about the tasks she had to do, she felt like she was finally able to repay the Tsukiyama for everything they had done for her. Karren owed them so much, and there wasn’t a thing she wasn’t ready to do in order to satisfy them. Years after years, she learned how to appreciate life again after the tragedy she had been through, and in the meantime, fell endlessly and continuously in love with Tsukiyama Shuu. 

It had been about five months ago that Karren started secretly practicing the violin alone in the lonely rose garden in the backyard of the Tsukiyama’s mansion. She would come here every evening, after making sure her Shuu-sama was well and relaxing as he should be in his room. His health still was a bit weak, so she had this habit of always spoiling him too much. Even Matsumae kept on telling her he wasn’t so ill that he needed all this care from her, but she didn’t change her behavior. She spent the most part of her days tenderly watching over him, so much that the few moments she was away from him she couldn’t help but constantly worrying about him, if he needed anything or if he suddenly felt ill. But during the time she was practicing, her head was empty, free of any negative thought. It was just the violin and her, and the sweet sounds she created, nothing more. Karren didn’t realize it yet but she improved greatly over the months. She had planned to keep those training sessions a secret until she would decide she finally reached Tsukiyama’s piano level.

That evening, the weather was rather nice. Karren was about to start her daily violin self-training, the wind delicately blowing on her purple hair. It was quite late, Shuu-sama was already sleeping. Sometimes like this, when she was sure no one would come in the rose garden, she would wear a dress, to reveal her hidden femininity, as to remember to herself the actual woman she was. The dress was nothing fancy, just a white average dress Matsumae gave her a long time ago. It was simple but very pretty at the same time. It was long up to her knees, but the fabric being purposely a little bit shorter on the right it revealed a small part of her right thigh. She started gracefully playing in the middle of the garden, a nice breeze caressing her cheeks, going along with the delicate melody. Karren never was the talkative person, she had this habit of shutting down everything she felt and keeping it to her, but when she was playing the violin, it’s as if she let her heart speaks throughout the notes created by the bow frenetically dancing on the violin’s strings. If you paid enough attention to the melody, you could almost perceive a somewhat of bitterness in it, something very vague and imperceptible, but it was here. 

 

Karren had been playing at least for 20 minutes here in this lonely rose garden. She could feel it, she was getting better and better day after days. Soon she could maybe hope to show Tsukiyama the result of her hard training. Would she get praised? Would her beloved Shuu-sama gently pat her head and compliment her violin’s playing? That was what motivated her to keep on practicing over and over, anything that would get her to interact with Tsukiyama, she would do it. He has always been so sweet and caring towards her, she initially thought that the least she could do was to watch over him constantly, as a role model, but soon enough she realized the feelings she was carrying were way deeper and stronger than just admiration and gratefulness. She fell in love with the way Tsukiyama Shuu was; equally kind to everyone, painfully sincere and desperately wanting to create bonds with people. Karren well knew her master was a very lonely person, despite his extravagance and show-off looks, deep inside she knew he had this bitterness and that made them both very similar on this point at least. Karren’s first impression of Tsukiyama was the one everyone probably have when they first discover the man that he is. Elegant, sophisticated, maybe a bit full of himself and getting along with many people. But despite what he looked like, he didn’t have friends, he had some acquaintances, but nothing more than that. Karren noticed the way Tsukiyama wanted to connect with people around him, and create deep bounds, but strangely, despite his efforts and will, no one seemed to trust him enough or to appreciate him enough to let him do so. It made Karren both angry and upset. If she could, she would give her Shuu-sama all the friends and attention she thought he deserves to have. To her, Tsukiyama, without any doubt, deserved the whole world and everything more, and if she could she would do the impossible in order to grant him such things.

 

One final note and, her hand holding the bow in the air, the bitter-sweet melody ended as if it never existed. Karren looked up to the sky. The stars were quite sparkling that night, she thought. The moon, golden crescent in the dark, was watching over her quietly. Everything was always so calm at that hour. Well that was true until she heard someone coming from behind her, repetitively clapping their hands as to salute her performance.

 

\- My my, such a beautiful scene I just had the privilege to witness wasn’t it? The moon is really beautiful tonight, but I am afraid it seems quite dull now after the bewitching vision of you gracefully playing among those flowers.

 

Karren almost dropped her instrument and its bow. Tsukiyama was here, standing in front of her. He was not supposed to be here, he was definitely supposed to be here, alone at this hour, so late at night. And, oh my god, she was wearing female clothes. It suddenly just hit her and she was at loss of words. How was she supposed to explain this to him who still didn’t know her actual gender? She was supposed to be Kanae Von Rosewald, a boy, the cousin of Tsukiyama. He wasn’t supposed to ever happen to know about any of this, her real identity, her gender, her feelings.

 

\- Shuu-sama?! Please let me explain this, it is not what it looks like I am merely just joking around, please don’t pay attention to me, I don’t want to be seen in such getup. It was just a stupid bet between Matsumae and-  
\- The moon sure is really beautiful tonight, don’t you agree?

 

Tsukiyama apparently decided to completely ignore Karren and her lies, and so kept on;

 

\- You know, Kanae, I have been watching you for awhile now. At first it was a pure coincidence, I was in need for some fresh air, and wandered into the garden, when I happened to catch the sound of a beautiful melody, magnificently resonating throughout the whole place. Ever since, I took the habit of coming here, to hear this so sweet melody which pleases my ears so much.

\- It’s not… I don’t deserve such praise from you, Shuu-sama…

 

\- You possess countless qualities, but you definitely lack self confidence in yourself. Remember what I told you back when you first came here in this same garden. Live proudly with your head high. Everyday that passes you grow more and more into a beautiful flower.

 

Karren was aggressively blushing, she didn’t even dare to make eye contact with Tsukiyama, who was intensely gazing at her. The whole situation was absolutely ridiculous. She was standing in front of him, in feminine clothes, and he was praising her. The pressure and anxiety were too much at once, she suddenly was seized with too many worries at once, and emotionally broke down. Not even aware of it, a tear silently rolled down her cheek, followed by another, and another, and soon, she was uncontrollably sobbing.

 

\- I’m sorry Shuu-sama, I deeply am sorry I wish you never saw me in such a state, I must look quite laughable right now. I just wanted to make you happy, just a tiny bit, seeing you everyday so gloomy and not being able to do anything about it is unbearable for me, unfortunately I am aware I am not Kaneki therefore I can’t possibly cheer your mood but I can’t help but try and I really just-

 

\- What is it now with Kaneki? I am very saddened and sorry, I know my health is causing you lot of troubles right now, but if it wasn’t for you, I would definitely be even worse than my current state. Please bear with me a little longer, I am doing my very best, I need time I guess. But out of everyone, even Matsumae and Father, you are the one who brings me the most joy. Listening to your violin’s training made me feel strangely great, it had the power to put my heart at ease. Please do not be ashamed of yourself, not in front of me, dear flower. As for your appearance now…..

 

\- Bitte verzeihen sie mir (please forgive me), immediately replied Karren, in total panic.

 

\- Keine sorge, Ich habe schon immer gewusst (don’t worry, I always knew).

 

He made a quick pause, wisely chosing what to say. He walked up to her, and gently, very gently, with all the care and precaution he could, he raised his arm to caress Karren’s drenched cheek.

 

\- Karren.

 

She lifted her head as soon as Tsukiyama spoke. She was looking at him, all the confusion of the world in her eyes.

 

\- It’s not very fair of me, but I indeed always knew. I knew. But I wanted to respect you decision not to reveal your real self to me, you have your reasons, probably noble reasons as I know you. But it’s time to drop the act, isn’t it? The weight on your shoulders must be heavy, it must have been a burden to hide yourself all this time. I only wish for you to be free from now on, you don’t have to worry about anything, no matter what, I always have your back, I will try my best to support you, Karren.

 

The sound of her name coming out from Tsukiyama’s mouth was all new to her, it made her completely defenseless, even more than usual. But it was soon addicting, she was already drunk on this new guilty pleasure of her.

 

\- I… Shuu-sama… 

 

And as Tsukiyama said, the weight she had been carrying alone on her shoulders had been hard, it made her suffocating from the lies she wishes she never had to make up. To suddenly be freed from all of it felt like heaven, unreal. Not only Tsukiyama saved her from her past in Germany, but also he just saved her again from a future she was building but she didn’t want. He gave her so much, and all of sudden, she allowed herself to be weak again, she gave up on the fake shell she’s been building, trying to hide herself and all of her flaws. But at this instant, she didn’t care. Tsukiyama just saved and accepted her all over again, she didn’t care being seen like this if it was him. Lovingly, not too fast not to scare her off, he embraced her tightly, as if he was trying to stick back together all the broken pieces of the vulnerable crying purple haired girl in his arms. 

 

\- Do I really deserve to be so happy, I, I am so ugly, I am unworthy of yo-  
\- Karren. For years I passionately took care and looked after those roses in here. Beautiful aren’t they? Nevertheless, when you stand here, they all suddenly look quite boring. You are a beautiful rose, who will keep on growing beautifully. My most beautiful rose.


End file.
